From jnmfobes@midusa.net,
- you occasionally call your professor "sensei" and feel an urge to
bow when you leave the classroom....
From kenpo_blackbelt@yahoo.com,
- you break-up the bagged ice with your head at the family picnic.
- your dog heals on your 'keop'.
- use a 'front two knuckle punch' to get into your car because you
locked-up your keys....Owwwww.
- your not afraid of your wife.
- you like to write "You know your a martial artist when..." jokes.
From Mrrlyn1 and Firekath,
- When you have a lot of Martail art weapons secrected around the house JUST in case your house gets invaded while you are home
From Mrrlyn1,
- When you don't wear protective gear while instructing your students
- When you use puns to get your students to ge6t them to attack you so you can get them to practise
From Firekath,
- When you open up the mall doors via using the handicapped plates with you toes
- When you can see how dance can be used to hide Martial Arts
- When a good portion of your library consists of books that deal with subjects of fighting, weapons, & philosophies.
From kenpo_blackbelt@yahoo.com,
- You completely disassemble your friend's huge entertainment center with
elbow and palmheel strikes...true.
From Catemandu,
- you leave the bathroom at work, and BOW!!
- you don't let yourself go to Disneyland until you do your new form without any errors!
From STHOUND,
You know you practice Tai Chi when you're the only one relaxed while in heavy traffic in LA while it's 104 degrees outside and your air conditioner stopped working.
From AikiGaijin,
- you shut cabinet doors with round-kicks... (no matter how high...)
- you practice your pivots when heading for the refrigerator...
- your "significant other" reaches to touch your face, and you block and counter...
- its easier to perform a rotary over the bed vs walking around it...
- you read more ma pubs than the sum total of all other pubs...
- you own more gi's than pairs of jeans...
- you can spell, miyamoto musashi...
- you wander through lumberyards thinking "tamashi-waza" instead of "oak decking"...
- you carry your training gear with you on family vacations...
From MEGA KAO,
The freezer door makes for a decent place to practice elbow strikes.
Brown sugar in a plastic bag is a good punching target.
Kitchen knives...enough said.
Turn off the lights with a hanging side or front kick (stop just before the switch, then extend toes to gently turn switch off)
Ever try to hip throw a refrigerator? It doesn't work, but it's an interesting workout for the inner thighs.
Use knee or shin to close the oven door (especially when carrying something, i.e. multitasking)
Get a job as a busboy at a food court to work on pivots, spins and jumps (gawd that was fun, and drew a crowd. people actually came down and brought their video cameras to record me when I bussed a couple of years ago).
When wiping tables as a busboy, do that "wax on, wax off" thing. customers get a kick out of it.
When shopping, and no one's looking, jump up and try to kick those hanging signs in the aisle.
When playing basketball, accidentally say "spar" every time you use the word "play", that way people will think you're confused, and won't get too mad after you practice takedowns on them during their attempted layups.
From Taekyon 2,
How about knife hand slashes to open paper towel of toilet tissue packages?
From DAHNBONIM,
- you use a spinning side kick to close the freezer door at work
- you palm or knife hand the bottom of empty boxes to break them down before disposal (also, ax kicks are great for really big boxes!)
- instead of stepping over things, you do low sweeping movements to go under them
- put your (larger than you) son in a joint lock when he gets 'uppity'
From USTAI 4,
-when you use your lunch break to practice your katas
-when you can't walk by a mirror without throwing a kick to check you form
-when you have "accidentally" hit / kicked at least three of your fellow employees.
-when your movie collection consists of nothing other than martial arts movies and Godzilla films
-when you spend valuable workout time filling out one of these "you know your a" forms.
More from AikiGaijin,
- if you catch yourself practicing traps and grabs as you walk down the hall.
- if you take the phrase, "does #insert technique, style, weapon, or movement here# really work?" as a challenge.
- if you judge a "good pair of jeans" by flexibility and range of motion.
- if you gauge kicking ability before you buy new shoes.
- if your significant other cringes when you say, "can i borrow your arm for a moment..."
- if someone asks, "do you practice karate?", you cannot simply answer, "yes."
From LitlJudoka,
you know you're a martial artist when you enjoy slipping and falling on an icy patch. (just like being thrown by old what's his name)
From Booknewt,
Booknewt's "how to tell when you've gone too far down that ma road"
1. You declare your mother the "dojo-mom"
2. Your orthopedic surgeon always closes out your "final" appointments with "see ya next time"
3. You laugh when you get hit in the head
4. The harder you're hit, the harder you laugh
5. You yell "wahooo!" whenever you're thrown
6. When in public, you imagine all passerbys as attackers and mentally rehearse your response, especially the grandmothers (expect the unexpected!)
7. You iron *and* starch your heavy-weight gi
8. After your last test, you wore your belt to bed
9. You've been given more than one copy of "the tao of pooh" or "the little zen companion"
10. Your co-workers call you "lumpy" for cause
From CylentKa,
1. You perform kata in your dreams - and get them right.
2. You have dreams where someone you don't know is performing a kata you've never seen before (weird!)
3. You teach your dog to bow when you walk into the room.
4. You spend three years *trying* to teach your cats to bow when you walk into the room.
5. You swing your punching bag so that it hits you real hard in the chest, gut, etc - to practice your stances and body conditioning.
6. You reach out towards a family member and they ask "are you going to hurt me?"
7. You try a front jump kick on roller skates and have to be carried off the rink. (I told you I learn things the hard way.)
8. You automatically count in Japanese when performing warmup exercises - even at home.
9. You mistakenly refer to your knees, elbows, etc by their Japanese name.
10. You love your Sensei, because he sees what you can be, not just what you are now.
More from Booknewt,
Like Police Officer's dogs catch criminals, surfer's dogs play frisbee and baseball player's dogs play catch... um... my dog spars. he cheats, too.
From BigBadVolk,
....when you are so ticklish that you put anyone in figure four arms locks
without thinking to get them to stop.
More from AikiGaijin,
- You and the other "trekkies" in the dojo define the techniques within "kirk-fu"...
- You check your "striking surface" whenever you go through a door...
- You've spent more time discussing the techniques in a movie than watching it...
- You've ever caused your sensei to cringe during a demo...
- Your wallet holds more Martial Arts business cards than "professional" business cards...
- You spend more time looking through the AWMA catalog than the Sears catalog...
- You own more Jackie Chan movies than Blockbuster and Hollywood Video combined...
More from DAHNBONIM,
- You sleep with your sword/staff/nunchuks
From KenpoTom,
- When "yield" reminds you of soft style & "stop" reminds of hard style.
From Renigad696,
- You eat breakfast, lunch and dinner doing the full splits in two chairs.
- You have all the belts in the Martial Arts hanging up on your wall.
- There isn't a speck of your wall that you can see because it is all filled with Bruce Lee posters.
- You have every issue of BlackBelt magazine.
- You have studied at at least 5 martial arts schools.
More from DAHNBONIM,
"You know you're a martial artist when you are cuddled up to your sweetheart and realize you are not just caressing him, you are cataloging where his pressure points are!"
From Mrrlyn1,
When you use both elbow and hand strikes to get ice off of a friend's car!"
From Kaunyin,
- Your kid clasps his fists and growls at you...and the next thing he knows you're sitting on his chest and asking him if he wants to discuss his frustrations and the kid is 16 and head and shoulders taller than you are...lol
- You know you're a martial artist when the neighborhood kids are fighting and you walk out onto the porch and they invite you to join in. This is embarrassing when you're the mom.
- YKYMA when your sensai likes to put men (who think women in ma is stupid) who begin his class with you and they complain that you're too rough.
- You know you're a martial artist when:
All of your gais are neatly hung up, while your road gears on the floor (clothes)
Your child comes home from school with a note from the teacher for fighting and you ask him if he used good form....
And he's proud he only hit his attacker once (but hes still in the Lav puking)
And the school demands you discipline your child, so you take him out for icecream
because he finally understands he doesn't have to destroy them, just stop them
And when the bullys parents call...you invite them to bring their child to ma class
Because you think all that energy can be channelled to something useful
And yes Kathy...it really did happen...
From Firekath,
When you look at all the parts at your factory as possible weopons and try to find ways on how to use them.
From QBushido,
You know you are a martial artist when the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is kata and the last thing you see before you close your eyes is the bruce lee poster on your ceiling.
From SHoward995,
- gives new meaning to "i'll flip you to see who does the dishes"
More from Booknewt,
- you get irritated when talking to your relatives because: they have no discipline.
More from QBushido,
- you know you are a TKDer when you only buy addias.
- you know you are a martial artist when you like wide leg jeans because they feel like gi pants.
- you know you are a martial artist when you kick in your sleep like others walk in thier sleep.
From Kaunyin,
- You know you're a martial artist when you're dreaming and you are just as concerned with good form in the dream as you are in real life
- You know you're a martial artist when in that dream...you are scared silly, but you fight anyway, (since there is no way out.) and to your surprise you win...because the monster doesn't have good form.
- You know you're a martial artist when you answer your business phone with your dojos name
- You know you're a martial artist when you are addressed by a formal name when your co-workers are addressed by their first names...and you aren't in your dojo.
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KEB