The KEB's "Top 10" Lists


From USTAI 4,
A drum roll if you please Anton.....
Tonight's Top Ten list is brought to you from our home office in Sioux City, Idaho...
"the top ten reasons why martial artist can't keep real jobs..."
#10 - You are constantly harassing your fellow employees by saying, "come on, see if you can hit me," and "here hold this just over your head and look away while i show them something."
#9 - The rising cost of window repairs due to shoplifters being hurled through while you were HELPING security.
#8 - Constantly bothering armored car security guards by trying to make them draw their guns so you can try your latest weapon disarming technique.
#7 - Number of rising lawsuits from customers that had heart attack while being scared to death from employees using "ninja stealth" techniques to get right behind them before loudly saying "excuse me, can i help you!"
#6 - Other employees find it hard to enjoy their lunch break while in the employee lounge, because you spend your break practicing your katas and sparring with friends from class.
#5 - Martial artist just can't seem to understand that when you are told to go on break, that DOESN'T mean you have to break anything!
#4 - You refuse to call your boss "sir", instead you refer to him as "sensei".
#3 - You keep tearing your work clothes by showing everyone how you can do a full split.
#2 - Customers don't like the way you BOW to them after every sale.

... and the number one reason why Martial Artist can't keep a real job is...

#1 - They keep threatening to commit hari-kari if they don't get a raise.


From Orc Writes,
Top ten reasons Orc got let go from his job at the mall last year:
10. practicing pak sao on customers
9. wearing T-shirt that said "keyword: gsarts" instead of work uniform
8. trying to impress TKD team by doing flying side kicks off the stairs
7. trying to psyche out the company vice president with "telepathic dim mak" every time he walked by
6. working during break time, breaking during work time
5. challenging bad guys to butter knife duel instead of calling security
4. trying to develop "chi voice" by doing Darth Vader lines during lunch hour
3. ordering pizza in Cantonese for Japanese worker, getting order wrong
2. getting in Japanese for Cantonese pizza worker, in wrong order
1. threatening to have company's AOL account TOSsed after not getting a raise


From DaCajunKid,
Just some humor here. A few friends and I threw this list together at our recent black belt camp. I dont know how many of these apply to all school owners . . . But all the folks at the camp loved it
TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT OWN A KARATE SCHOOL

- You consider sleep to be free time
- Every time you hear a new song you think "Can I do a musical form to this"
- When your significant other asks to spend more time together you hand her/him a class schedule and information sheet
- People have ever left the dinner table because you wouldnt stop talking about karate
- Your recurrent nightmare involves teaching 6-year-old yellow belts
- You've ever bowed when leaving a department store
- You cant enjoy a martial arts movie without a pen, paper, and the VCR remote
- You no longer bother to take your uniform home except to wash it
- You havent seen a prime time television show since Hill Street Blues was popular
- You've ever answered your home phone with your karate school name

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