Requirements For BLACK -- ELEVENTH DEGREE

Techniques --

1) ATTACKING LACE (combination front right roundhouse purse [high] & upward cane thrust [low])

2) GIFT OF INSTRUCTION (front wrong student with dazed look)

3) TWISTED WIG (front hair grab, both hands)

4) CRUSHING BUMMER (front right tire goes flat on way to East Coast seminar, no spare)

5) SLEEPER (same dazed student after 20 minutes of patient instruction)

6) FLASHING LEAVES (front drawstring on gi pants breaks, arms up)

7) DESTRUCTIVE TWINSES (Kars' kids arrive for class, no hope)

8) ESCAPE FROM DOJO (extension to Destructive Twinses, exit to lobby blocked)

9) NEIL OF COMPULSION (potential student named Neil hesitates to sign four year contract)

10) SHAKES OF WISDOM (sudden, unexpected attack of Kenpo chills)

Further requirements --

Must be able to walk on water for no less than 5 minutes. (Water must be in liquid form. Walking on ice doesn't count.)

Laughing at any time during the test will automatically disqualify you from further testing, as will smiling. If the senior tester makes some comment, then waits expectantly, this may be an indication that he/she has just made a joke. A half-smile may be tried at this time, but in no other instance. However, should the senior tester actually smile in response, immediately drop to the floor, holding your sides and laughing hysterically (we're not talking First Degree here) until your senior tester indicates that you have shown sufficient mirth. (When you begin to feel excruciating pain, take the hint.) This incident will not be applied against your final grade. (And may even win you bonus points.)

(Written by the co-creator of the destructive twinses -- the kids, not the technique.)

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